Hi guys! So recently I started a new job and my anxiety/stress has not been great.
Old Job: Was there for 2 years. Started at $85k and left at $93k. Full health benefits, pension, and 1% 401k match. It was mostly work from home, with 1-2 days a week in office or at a client office. My office was 70 miles one way so it was a trek but never had to go in more than once a week. Mostly grant funded position though so that always made me anxious and there was always pressure to get more clients or grant funding. Though my boss says we are fine for 2+ years as of now. Job was super flexible. I had a night meeting every month or two but was always encouraged to log out early on a Friday to offset and avoid burn out despite being salaried.
New Job: Went to work for a client at $115k, with $118k by end of 6 months. Been there two months. 5% 401k employer contribution with no match required. I do have to pay about $100-$150 a month for health benefits. Pension here too. Office is 15-20 min away (10 miles) from home but I have to go in 5 days/week. My manager is also super anal about work hours and is a bit clueless with his job. His managers constantly talk about his incompetency and I’m amazed he isn’t fired yet (he’s been there 2 years). He will not allow any flexibility in work hours and says if I work late that’s just the expectation for salaried positions to work more than 40 hrs a week. I will have 3 nights/month I have to work til 8-10pm. No allowance to flex those hours though.
We have about $200k in investments and retirement funds total. We have another $30k cash in our emergency fund. Both of us in early 30s. Partner makes $80k and he typically gets $3k-$5k raises annually. Our only debt is our home which is $1600/month mortgage (currently owe $350k). We have a 10 yr 3% ARM mortgage but still have 7 years before it adjusts (and it can only go up to 8%). Both cars are paid for. His job pays for his health insurance so no costs there.
This past year we had infertility treatments which feels like it ate into our typical monthly spending. This fall we are having a baby though! Daycare will cost about $1100/month in our area starting next May. Baby will go on his insurance for about $150/month added expense.
The new job is logical because I know the pay is tremendously better. It is more stable/secure, has more opportunity for growth and pay raises in the future. BUT, these two months have been rough. I consulted there for a year prior so I knew it was a mess with lots of drama, but wasn’t aware of how awful it would be to be there full time. I’ve really missed my work from home flexibility. I also miss working for a manager that I respect. I now think about work an unhealthy amount, and Sunday evenings I get the racing heart and dread for the week ahead. I feel constantly exhausted by the time I get home so my energy to cook and do house chores has drastically lowered. some days not even getting a lunch break.
Now asking strangers bc I want unbiased opinions- is this an incredibly stupid idea to go back to old job? I’ve been told I’m welcome back at same pay and benefits any time I want.
**for what it’s worth both jobs will give me 12 weeks unpaid leave for maternity this fall/winter. Old job claims their new short term disability provider waived pre existing conditions but I need to verify that. If so then I can get that for 60% pay for 6 weeks, and I also have 10 weeks sick leave saved up. New job has paid maternity leave for 6 weeks but will not let me use it, so I’d have to use up my 10 weeks full sick leave and take 2 weeks unpaid. Sick leave transfers between the two since they’re both state jobs.
**Also after taxes the difference in take home pay has been $2950/biweekly vs $3320/biweekly.
