As an alternative of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you totally different.
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“Comparability is the thief of pleasure.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however joyful as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of home made pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took a protracted, sunny stroll. Each process on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to calm down.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Instantly, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A examine from MIT discovered that our brains course of photos in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable entice of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability principle revealed our pure urge to guage ourselves in opposition to others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two forms of social comparability:
Upward comparability: these forward of us for inspiration.
Downward comparability: these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself in opposition to one of the best and brightest. Typically, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However at present’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, usually distorting actuality and turning what might be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish facet of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embrace:
Low vanity
Anxiousness and melancholy
Envy and resentment
Emotions of inadequacy
Physique-image points
Social isolation
Even should you’re not an enormous scroller, societal strain is all over the place. So how can we maintain comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Apply the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually need to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause can assist you make a aware selection slightly than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is essential. Observe how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The aim isn’t to remove social media however to regulate its affect in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a shopper
I publish nearly every day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me interact with out being sucked into the comparability entice.
4. Apply gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three stuff you’re grateful for every day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you’ve got.
5. Set objectives, and rejoice wins
Clear, lifelike objectives maintain you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and every day objectives, conserving a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And once I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is commonly outlined by numbers, it’s straightforward to get caught up compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The fantastic thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As an alternative of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you totally different. Carry others up. Have a good time your wins. And keep in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
Pam Blair is the broker-owner of YogaBug Actual Property in Portland, Oregon. Join together with her on Instagram or LinkedIn.
